Reflections

Last night, Ainsley and I were both restless and ended up doing a lot of rocking in the middle of the night. With the roar of airplanes overhead and Ainsley's eyelids flickering, I caught our shadows, illuminated by her night light. Cradled in my arms, her legs dangling well past the nook where her feet once barely touched...

A couple of weeks ago, when she didn't know I was watching from behind the door, I spied her giggling, and putting her arms high in the air and twirling. Circling and laughing eventually so hard she started coughing.

After 10 months of amazing care from the Criminger's, we are transitioning Ainsley over to another dear friend's -- Michelle Ahring. At Michelle's, there are two other little ones -- Benjamin (just 3 weeks younger than Ainsley) and Caroline (an 8 month old). While Ainsley is comfortable with Michelle and gets a kick out of the kids, it was a rough first few days...Amazing to see how she observes, engages, and copes. One day she successfully sequestered herself in Benjamin's crib, only content if Michelle and her two other chargers were in the room with her, while she looked on from her safe perch in her crib. Like a goldfish acclimating to its new bowl....

I am overwhelmed by her development, her personality, the way she sees and engages with the world.

I've certainly experienced immeasurable joy in my life; and life experiences should not be compared..it's just that being her mom is the single most amazing experience EVER -- how wonderful that as we work to lovingly shepherd our children, they shepherd us too -- to be more aware, more loving, to self-actualize for our benefit and for theirs. I've truly never been happier - and I'm thankful to Scott, family and dear friends for being part of this parenting journey!