What a summer this has been! We've really lived it up and enjoyed hanging out with friends and family, getting outside and to the pool, and getting ready for preschool at the end of August. Highlights include: Dell's trip, Ainsley's 3rd Birthday Bash in the backyard with Mr Twister (Oak Park's premier balloon guy and lil' kid magician), having our niece Amalia Molly Rose in from Nevada for a week, Van Howe family time and athleticism over the Bix weekend, Wisconsin Ave. Block party, and great conversations and laughs with friends over grilled delicacies and delicious brews and cocktails.
Ainsley will start on 8.29 at Concordia's Early Childhood Center. When Ainsley came to me somber the other day and asked for cuddles and talking on the couch, I was touched and could see she that something was on her mind. After some initial questions about why parents don't stay with you at school, she started to whimper. I told her that Scott and I would help her transition, visiting a couple of days, that we wouldn't be far away. She said, "No momma. I'm not worried about that. I don't want to put my toys away, and I don't want to put the other kids toys away. Can you tell the teachers that I don't want to put the toys away?" I knew the whole separation anxiety bit was a ruse....the little stinker was concerned about her level of clean up effort!
Three years is awesome. Sure, every age is special, and we know we forget, but it is sheer delight to watch her come into her own. Her experimenting (emotionally, verbally, physically) is something to see - from new tactics at manipulating mom and dad, to mastering self-expression in many instances ("That hurt my feelings because...") to thinking more and more about others and their feelings, helping mom and dad with chores including chores we didn't know existed and fixing things we didn't know were broken, to interjecting her opinion on big things like why gravity works or why it is that we can't see God, or how her imaginary friends Doo Doo, Dee Dee and Rainy translate words into French, Japanese and 'Balinese'.
We are still really tired most days. The kid is constantly on the move and her mind is always at work. I'm learning to build in more time for her to enjoy her pretend play and engage with her toys and just be a kid without structured activity. We think preschool will be a great thing for all of us for many reasons (as long as she doesn't get booted for not putting her toys away).
In adult news, work is going well for both of us even amid this crazy economic environment and the various changes awry in the pharmaceutical and nonprofit worlds. We know lots of laid off and under-employed people who are eager to work. Our church has been engaged in a visioning process since March and we're all hopeful that we'll have a clearer sense of that vision and our place by this fall. Intense feelings of limbo these days but we remain grateful and optimistic. We look forward to spending Thanksgiving with Scott's family, having Lori Rauser in during October, and making a point to take some more formal vacation time during 2012.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Love Fest of Family and Friends
Time keeps on slipping into the future, and we are sadly lagging in our blog entries. Where to begin? At Easter we had the Van Howe side and close friends over for dinner. The girls had a blast dressing up for church, hunting for eggs in the back yard, and just being together. We look forward to more time with Grandma and the Van Howe's of Davenport, when we take a long weekend in June at a condo in the Dells. It will be our first time braving the Dells during the summer. Wish us luck and perspective!
Scott turned 40 and Jerry visited us at the start and close of their father-son trip to the Baseball Hall of Fame. It was a once in a lifetime trip and they both were beaming upon their return.
Godmother/Auntie Lori paid us a visit and showered us with attention and energy. Grandma hung out too and we enjoyed Ainsley and Lori's first trip to the Lincoln Park Zoo. Lori and I also spent a day downtown; the whole family took in the Botanical Gardens in Glencoe; she helped us with some outdoor projects and watched Ainsley so we could go out for a nice dinner; and we all enjoyed and braved the odd May weather.
Ainsley will begin preschool at Concordia's Early Childhood Education Center in the fall, and it's nearly all she can talk about. She is gleeful about turning three in July, and we have regular conversations about her b-day party themes -- from snowmen to zebras and fairies to princesses and Pinkalicious. She is a girl with ideas and vision. Some Ainsley moments:
- After telling her she must work on her listening and not dart down the sidewalk or out the back door without speaking with a grown up first, she responds with a kiss and "Did the kiss make you feel better about yelling, momma?" To which I say, "I am not yelling, I am serious about you being safe." Ainsley: "Okay, I'll try to listen better." -- cue Ainsley grin.
- Common vocabulary these days, "Did you imagine that....." as well as "I have an idea. I suggest we...."
- To stall bed time, she now asks "one last question" and these usually include questions like, "How does hair stay on your head?" and "How do walls stay up?" And "why don't fans fall down?" She must know that even these can stump her mom.
- She continues to enjoy making up songs, changing words, and requesting certain artists and play lists. Some of her favorites include the dance song, "Dynamite" as well as "Kookaburra" and "Puffer bellies." She really grooves to puffer bellies, running around shaking her body when the tempo picks up, cracking up and yelling "toot toot."
- We've enjoyed visits with friends Sachi, Alex, and Poloma and we are thrilled to have old friends back in town-- Nallely, David and Alex Gass.
- She also gets a kick out of poop jokes...which I thought didn't start until close to age 5...She'll say "poop on your hair," or "water poop, wait, water doesn't poop" and also make up various poop knock-knock jokes. I blame the book our French friends gave us, where a mole is trying to figure out who pooped on his head -- Silly French!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Another great stage
A few weeks back, she picked up her harmonica and started working it like a miniature Dylan. Okay, we exaggerate, but she brought some musicality to it, and started singing after she'd get out some notes, or enjoy a slide. She's started making up her own songs, like the one inspired by her bumping her head on the bike rack outside of Trader Joe's. "When you're two and a half, you bump your head on that thing outside of Taydah Joes." Already hooked by the story of Cinderella, after a visit from godmother Amy, where she sang along to Amy's Disney anthology, she started trying out various protagonist anthems, [arial] "bet they don't wepwimand their daughters, bright young women, sick of swimming, ready to stand." Or, "mom, you sing the Anastasia part and I'll do Cinderella" -- where mom sings "Sweet Nightingale" ugly and off pitch, and Ainsley comes in as Cinderella, breathless. Truly, Cinderella is the only Disney movie she has viewed, but she's obsessed with the plot line, wrestling with the motivations of the characters and loving to re-enact the dress ripping scene with mom and dad. In undergrad, I vowed to keep my child from Disney, and look at me. But there is some value in it, and she loves it...so we strive for balance and hope that she gets more of the character development, fantasy and female empowerment stuff than the back-stabbing girl-against-girl stuff.
Visiting great grandma last week, she was ecstatic: the center of 30+ seniors' attention, talking and waving to everyone and wanting to help them with their walkers. Great grandma Elva always has wonderful toys to play with and ends the visit with an ice cream sundae. Ainsley was particularly impressed that a painting from a few weeks back was showcased prominently on Great grandma's door. Visiting the retirement home is right up there with going to museums or having playdates with special friends. It really is awesome to see seniors and toddlers interact.
She loves reading, loves visiting the library, and has enjoyed story time at the small branch near us and with her music class pals. She's always filled in phrases in books, but now she's memorized books, so that's fun to hear. She is also becoming more discriminating, overall, in terms of clothing, food, and book preferences. "How about we return this book to the library, because I don't think I like it." She's become more cuddly with both parents. She asks to cuddle and wants to hear aural stories about when she was a baby and wants to re-enact scenes from videos of her as a baby. Often when cuddling in bed at night, she'll ask: "Do you want to close your eyes and watch a movie with me. Do you see it?" Then she'll describe what she's seeing in her imagination. Just precious.
We saw nana and papa this month, and Ainsley was excited to be with them. Unfortunately, they were in for the funeral of a dear family friend, and Ainsley also became ill with a nasty respiratory virus. Although it was a sad time, it was good to be with family and close friends. After being at the viewing and funeral, Ainsley asked some questions about her friend Camryn's papa, where God was, and where heaven was. Obviously this will be an ongoing conversation that makes parents pause.
Our friend Rob was in town and we were able to see him and his wonderful parents (good friends from Rockford and also from Augie) and Ainsley was thrilled to hang out with them. Ainsley had met Mike and Lynne a couple of times, but at this age, she was drawn like a magnet to nurturing and vivacious Lynne. They played like old buddies and Ainsley asked her during the evening, "Are you a babysitter?" wondering if she could hang out with her another time.
Today was a big day for Ainsley (and momma). She had her first visit to the dentist. And she was a pro. She barely lets us get in her mouth, and when she does she proclaims, "Look, momma, dadda, I'm not crying tonight. You can brush my teeth." And then we're supposed to be super grateful. With our dentist, she was an angel. They engaged in small talk and she asked where his girlfriend went at one point (the hygienist, who is not his girlfriend). She not only allowed him to count her teeth (she has all her 20 baby teeth in), but allowed the polish and the suction. She even let him brush some vitamin wash over her teeth, and she was cool. On the way out, she said she felt a little icky and was gagging a bit, but she held strong and told mom, "I think noodles and TV will make me feel better." We indulged her, and she was back to herself within no time.
We then went to our first preschool "interview" today. She was off the charts excited about visiting the preschool and remembered its smell from the last time we were there dropping off an application, "momma, it still smells like lemon." A teacher took her up to a classroom while we waited. She exhibited no separation anxiety and asked the teacher if she could play some more. At the end of the interview when she was returned to us and we were debriefing, she asked if she could go back to the classroom. We told her that when she was 3 she could come every day, to which she replied, "but when I'm 2 and a half, I want to look around and play now."
This whole preschool search is a bit of a trip. The good news is that Oak Park has lots of amazing choices. The not so good news is that it can be pretty intense with getting applications in and getting on waiting lists in the winter and then not hear until late spring...so far we haven't had any terribly negative experiences, but it is a little nuts to jump through these hoops. As was no surprise, the feedback we've received thus far is that Ainsley is curious, takes direction well, and seems very comfortable with other children. One teacher joked, "I don't know, she just doesn't seem that interested. She's such a wall flower." We'll see what happens. We've got applications in at 3 places, and we're working on being attentive to our guts and keeping up with our daily prayer. It really does seem to be helping us in lots of decision-making.
Work wise, the Avers' are doing well. My business has more than doubled in less than a year and a half. Scott is making great progress with his military account. And we truly pinch ourselves daily that we're both able to work from home and have so much time with Ainsley. This is the life. We continually remind ourselves to embrace it and not get busied or worried by the small stuff. Things definitely get hectic, and while having mom and dad both at home is great, there is often reasonable tension over work space, personal time, etc. Tonight, Ainsley says, "Momma, I like you best. Dadda, I like you best. And can I have a baby someday? I want a baby. Can I have a brother?" It seemed she wanted to work both of us to get to whether she was going to have a playmate. Although the idea of a second is amazing, we are in such a good place now and it took so much time and medical intervention to get us to Ainsley, and I have my business...we just don't have enough in the pro column to move forward. Maybe in the future, I can convince Scott to consider foster parenting.
We've joined a church, United Lutheran, and it's just wonderful. We feel like we've committed our time and spirits to a great faith community, and Ainsley is enjoying time in the nursery and learning various rituals and prayers. Our parents raised us in the Lutheran church, and while we appreciated it, it's amazing to see how it did form us and how we are now sharing this tradition with our daughter.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Long Cold Winter
Trying to embrace winter as an opportunity for reflection and a slowing down our lives, I share a blog post with limited thought and preparation....blame Old Man Winter. He is draining me....and I resist, resist, resist...remain optimistic, remain optimistic...Anyone have any promising winter mantras I can try on for size?In this first border-line appropriate picture, we see two cuties enjoying bathroom time together. Girls like to go in twos, and cousins have limited privacy rules. (Sorry for this one, Ellie, you're happy faces are too much not to share with the somewhat filtered blog audience). As evident from this potty pic, New Year's with Grandma and the van Howe's of Davenport was fantastic. The grown ups even got in some 4-person Wii. And thanks to Grandma, Jen gained a good 5 lbs in Fisher chips and truffles (ouch). We also were paid a visit by the Harned family, which is always a blast. Maddy was particularly patient with Ainsley manhandling her hair accessories and overall person.
To kick off 2011, we checked out the Shedd for the first time as a family, and truly enjoyed ourselves. Luckily, we beat the rush and had purchased tickets ahead of time, likely saving us a good 45 minutes in line. Having packed our own lunch, we sat near a large window that was less frequented (for whatever reason), and we took in the dolphins and belugas. It was an awesome view and felt like our own private viewing. Of course, I loved the Wild Reef, saw fish and serious sharks (gotta love the sharks). Ainsley seemed most excited about the arts activities, the interactive kids' stations (penguin environment with slides, submarine, and water filled plastic coral and anemones). I think dad dug the anaconda and octopus most -- and just making the early bird parking special put a spring in his step too!
We are still very much enjoying Musikgarten classes and it's tremendous to watch Ainsley's musical confidence, ability and curiosity grow. She also enjoys Friday night gymnastics with her buddy Benjamin. We feel that something happened over the last couple of weeks where she is putting together more complex and conditional phrases than ever before and emphasizing her opinions and various other emotions. The common question this week has been, "What does x mean?" I share a few favorite comments and interactions:
- When at Bed Bath and Beyond and fixated on me getting her the Buzz Light Year faux computer, I try to explain that just because we want something doesn't mean we can just have it. Things cost money. We need to work for special things, ya da ya da... She looks at me and says, "It's okay, momma. You can just get it. Kids don't work."
- When fighting bed time, and angered that we set limits, she says, "I'm frustrated with daddy. He is breaking my heart."
- Another one the other night, "I need to get off from my parents".....which I think translates to, "I'm trying to get away from my parents," or "These parents need to go away -- get off..."
- When I tell her that we are all done with stories, and she is trying to push bed time, she looks intently and says, "Say one from in your mouth"--translation: from your memory... Or she starts flipping through a book, "I don't remember the words. Can you say them with me?" She clearly has inherited her father's negotiation skills. I'm not ready to take responsibility for her emotional hyperbole--let me chalk it up to toddler hood for now.
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